I've been following agent Nathan Bransford's first page contest this week. The first thing I have to say is, I'm glad I'm not judging all 600+ entries!! I freely admit that I am not up to reading slush. There were a lot of entries where I couldn't get past the first few sentences. The good ones--well, they really leaped out. A few observations:
1. The MG/YA entries were, on the whole, better written. (Uh--not that I'm biased or anything :)
2. The best entries started with the actual story.
(And now for the negatives...)
3. Profanity in narrative does NOT equal "voice." More like a weak substitute for voice.
4. Starting with a violent act with no chance to get to know the characters means that aside from general shock effect, there's no reason for the reader to care.
5. Starting with a character waking up is sure to put your reader back to sleep.
6. A lot of entries (especially those in first person) started by telling the reader the ENTIRE BACKSTORY of a character(s). But, there was no sign of an actual story beginning anywhere. Begin at the beginning, folks.
7. Perhaps a fresher use of phrases would be good, too. A LOT of entries had the actual phrase, "It all started when/with..."
8. Watch the gerund phrases. This is a pet peeve of mine, but if you start a sentence with a gerund phrase you are saying that that action is happening simultaneously with another one. Sometimes this is possible (Wishing she'd never come, Chiara wrapped her arms around her legs and tried to ignore the fact that she was 30,000 feet in the air, hovering over the Arctic Ocean.) But more often than not, it isn't. (Pulling the door shut across the room, Georgie lay down on the bed. --Unless Georgie is related to Elastigirl, he just can't do this.)
9. Starting with a character who is angry, bitter, and determined to MAKE THEM PAY!, without any other redeeming characteristics, is a character who many readers will prefer not to hang around. Characters don't have to be perfect, but readers need a reason to like them and hang around for the rest of the book.
Showing posts with label openings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label openings. Show all posts
Friday, February 1, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
First chapters
I hope you have all had a chance to consider registering your bone marrow to help someone like Luise and Emil. For the curious, 3200 people showed up to be typed and the line was very, very, very long. So many good people in the world--it was very cheering to see how many people wanted to help. Now they're typing the samples. I hope there's a match in there. We find out in six weeks.
Aside from DNA matching I've been thinking a lot about first chapters. Here are two things that have been going through my mind lately that a first chapter needs to accomplish:
1. Set up the conflict/issues for the entire book.
2. Hook the reader on the character.
1. Setting up the conflict/issues for the whole book. By the end of the first chapter, you need to know a) what your main character wants, and b) his/her plan to get it. You also need to show c) obstacles against that plan. Of course, plans change and desires deepen. They should as the novel progresses. But the seeds should be sown now.
2. Hooking the reader on the character. It’s essential for your readers to form a quick and strong bond with your main character, or they won’t stick around to find out how your MC solves his/her problems. In general, MCs that are easy to bond with may be vulnerable or imperfect, but have at least some part of them that turns outward and wants to move/change/do something. A 15-year-old MC whose sole desire is to contemplate her navel and complain about how everyone is against her might be realistic, but who wants to spend time with her? Harry has a rotten life in the cupboard under the stairs, but he still finds things to be happy about, like getting an extra ice cream at the zoo. The heroine of Shannon Hale’s Book of a Thousand Days is about to be shut in a tower for seven years while her mentally ill mistress languishes on—but she’s excited at seven years of food! See, in a successful first chapter, there’s a silver lining in the problems, as opposed to a poor me attitude.
Another part of forming emotional bonds is to have appropriate stakes. This ties in with #1 of course. You can have a more global set of stakes, like saving the world, but you have to have personal stakes as well. Like Kristin Nelson said on her blog, conflict is personal. What does your MC stand to lose?
The other biggie, I think, is words. Are you using the right voice for your character? Are you close and personal? Introduce us quickly, and keep us right next to the MC. Avoid distancing terms like „the boy“ once we’re supposed to be in his head, and eliminate passive tense. Otherwise, it’s like watching a whole movie shot in wide angle. Without close-ups, it’s hard to get a sense of who is who, and why we should care. Use strong prose—exact nouns and verbs as opposed to weak ones propped up by adjectives or adverbs. Filter everything through your focal character—the setting, the weather, the interactions of others. A good voice is a biased voice. You’re telling your best friend your side of the story. You’re not a reporter trying to be impartial.
Assignment 1: read the first chapter of five different books in your genre, and identify what the character wants, what their plan is, and what stands to stop them. Then do this with your own first chapter.
Assignment 2: remove weak prose and distancing terms from your first chapter.
Aside from DNA matching I've been thinking a lot about first chapters. Here are two things that have been going through my mind lately that a first chapter needs to accomplish:
1. Set up the conflict/issues for the entire book.
2. Hook the reader on the character.
1. Setting up the conflict/issues for the whole book. By the end of the first chapter, you need to know a) what your main character wants, and b) his/her plan to get it. You also need to show c) obstacles against that plan. Of course, plans change and desires deepen. They should as the novel progresses. But the seeds should be sown now.
2. Hooking the reader on the character. It’s essential for your readers to form a quick and strong bond with your main character, or they won’t stick around to find out how your MC solves his/her problems. In general, MCs that are easy to bond with may be vulnerable or imperfect, but have at least some part of them that turns outward and wants to move/change/do something. A 15-year-old MC whose sole desire is to contemplate her navel and complain about how everyone is against her might be realistic, but who wants to spend time with her? Harry has a rotten life in the cupboard under the stairs, but he still finds things to be happy about, like getting an extra ice cream at the zoo. The heroine of Shannon Hale’s Book of a Thousand Days is about to be shut in a tower for seven years while her mentally ill mistress languishes on—but she’s excited at seven years of food! See, in a successful first chapter, there’s a silver lining in the problems, as opposed to a poor me attitude.
Another part of forming emotional bonds is to have appropriate stakes. This ties in with #1 of course. You can have a more global set of stakes, like saving the world, but you have to have personal stakes as well. Like Kristin Nelson said on her blog, conflict is personal. What does your MC stand to lose?
The other biggie, I think, is words. Are you using the right voice for your character? Are you close and personal? Introduce us quickly, and keep us right next to the MC. Avoid distancing terms like „the boy“ once we’re supposed to be in his head, and eliminate passive tense. Otherwise, it’s like watching a whole movie shot in wide angle. Without close-ups, it’s hard to get a sense of who is who, and why we should care. Use strong prose—exact nouns and verbs as opposed to weak ones propped up by adjectives or adverbs. Filter everything through your focal character—the setting, the weather, the interactions of others. A good voice is a biased voice. You’re telling your best friend your side of the story. You’re not a reporter trying to be impartial.
Assignment 1: read the first chapter of five different books in your genre, and identify what the character wants, what their plan is, and what stands to stop them. Then do this with your own first chapter.
Assignment 2: remove weak prose and distancing terms from your first chapter.
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